THOUGHTS ON PARENTING

There are two sides to every story, and choosing the wrong side can scar a person for life. For the longest time I have wallowed in self-pity because of how my parents have treated me differently since the day I was  born, i.e. I am not their favorite. And having only one sibling can be such a competition that I have decided  not to participate in the rivalry and save myself from  further humiliation. Too bad I discovered too late that dysfunction is the norm in most families.

But problems are part of life. Without suffering, we would not be forced to discover our innermost selves. We become better students from our mistakes so long as we profit from them and use them to our advantage. Remember that even the famous make mistakes. But what sets them apart is their ability to take criticism  constructively and they never give up. For failure is  just one of the steps to reach success. Nobody ever got it right the first time, given that they are normal.

Parents have such a big responsibility to guide their children on how to achieve their full potential. Unfortunately, my folks we're too focused on themselves that they didn't bother to educate me and mold me into a responsible citizen. They're too busy enjoying parties and social gatherings to be bothered by such "trivialities". It was enough for them to send me to  the best private schools and leave me to learn everything there. Of course, that was a big mistake.  Relying on others to mold your kids is like leaving  them out in the woods. It's just not right. Parents are  responsible in instilling moral values and good manners in their kids. Children must be guided by their parents  in all aspects of their lives, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. If kids are not supervised most likely they would end up irresponsible, unhappy  and unloved. In the end, not only the child was shortchanged but the parents themselves. In my parents' case, they were such happy-go-lucky people that they didn't have the wisdom to save up for their retirement to secure our future. At present, they are retired,unemployed and broke, not very ideal for their children.

But this kind of carefree approach to life is normal in our country. We have a different mentality here. When the children are old enough to work and fend for themselves, they are obliged to support their parents and give back what was invested on them. Which is a really sad and vicious cycle. This robs the child to build his own nest egg and invest on his future. But in our country, nest egg and retirement funds are unfamiliar words, practically unheard of. How could they have knowledge of financial literacy, they never learned it in school and certainly not at home. And my friends would look at me funny when I mention emergency fund, compound interest, mutual funds, etc. I wouldn't have learned so much about money until I got myself up to my ears in debt. Which is kind of a blessing in disguise. It helped me focus on how I could manage my money and pay for my mistakes. I did my research and enriched my financial I.Q. I owe it to my children not only to change our family tree but to leave them with a lasting inheritance. Aside from teaching them about debt and retirement funds, it is integral that I show them I can be a good example. 


I may have a long way to go to become financially free but at least I am learning new things each day and have started to appreciate the simpler things in life. This financial journey has taught me so much about the greatest things in life...and that is, happiness cannot be bought, it's innate. No material thing can make us happy, happiness is a decision and everyday is a blessing that we should be grateful for, for life is a gift. And we must focus on the present, learn from our past and look forward to the future.